A is for Americans:
Americans tend to be three different types of colours: white, black and brown. They mostly all get on together as well, except when there is an election to see who will be the president that gets to boss them all about. Whenever there's an election everyone in the country gets all worked up about it. This is because the white people all want to be bossed about by something called a republican, while the black and brown people have a bit more sense than that.
G is for Germans:
Everyone in Europe used to hate the Germans because of all the stuff we learnt in history lessons, but now everyone loves them because they have all the money that's left in Europe. This is because they don't like to have fun with money like we do and spend it all on cheap Chinese imports, but instead they prefer to work all the time on making cars, which my dad says are the best cars in the world, although he drives a Lexus.
I is for India:
My dad says India has become, "nothing but a big call centre". He wouldn't tell me anything about it and I had to ask my Uncle Big Bri as he has been there three times. He said that the only bit worth going to was Goa. It's full of beaches and he said he'd "met some right little Goas", which must mean the people there are very small like Ghandi.
We watched Ghandi in RS at the end of the Easter term when Mrs Castleton, our new RS teacher, said she wasn't doing any more proper lessons as everyone was messing about. I thought the film was really interesting as it showed you how this little skinny bloke was able to take over India by doing nothing other than walking about with a nappy on and not eating for days at a time.
Oliver Hollingsworth is desperate for an ipad3 for his after-school geography club. So desperate that he's decided to publish his geography project on Amazon Kindle and make some money to buy one. 'All You Need To Know About Foreigners' is perhaps the best A-Z guide ever written by an 11-year-old boy on the very tricky subject of British attitudes to people, shall we just say, less British than themselves?
Guided as he is by a Daily Mail reading granddad, an Arsenal supporting, EEC hating father and an ex glamour model mum, Oliver gives you everything you would need to know if you accidently came across a foreigner (perish the thought).
"If you ever wanted to know what little England really thinks about other races--read this:) "
"Very, very, funny."